I don’t like what I see in the mirror..

I’m one to keep to myself.

I guess you wouldn’t describe me as the bubbly type or as a social butterfly. (Do people say still say that?)

I’ve always been like this but recently it has gotten worse and worse.

Ever since I’ve graduated college and been home, I’ve become extremely self-conscious and my confidence has been to the floor.

Well ,since being home I’ve received comments from older people saying, you’re so skinny? ,Do you eat?  Oh my God you look so little, Oh my God you have pimples, Do you wash your face? etc etc

And to others it may not sound like a big deal and like there’s bigger issues in the world to worry about ,but eventually when you keep hearing these things it hurts. Like it really does.And I’ve been the same size since forever so its not like I just got skinny or I never had pimples. This is just me ,this is my body type and this my acne struggle.

Constantly hearing these comments led me to spending a whole bunch of time in the mirror just not liking what I saw, avoiding going certain places with my family because I just didn’t want anyone making comments about my appearance and just comparing my appearance to other girls my age and to the girls on social media. I  also started counting calories of my food and making sure I ate more than usual to gain weight, researching meal plans etc etc.

So yesterday, as I was thinking about what to study during my time with God, I was reminded of this scripture:

“Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel— 4 rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. 5 For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.” 1 Peter 3:3-6

When I read that scripture it just felt like a nice cold glass of water after walking in a desert for hours. I’ve read this scripture many times but it was just such a beautiful reminder that my body or my appearance or my hair or my outfits is not what makes me beautiful, it’s the spirit of God who makes me beautiful. It’s the joy of the Lord that makes me beautiful. Its trusting God that makes me beautiful. Its obeying God that makes me beautiful. Its loving my family and friends that makes me beautiful.Its having a heart and life that’s open to God that makes me beautiful.

Also, the fact that I have the Holy Spirit in me makes me special and different. If God saw me as worth saving , why does it matter if someone looks at me and doesn’t think I’m beautiful or worth anything.

Why should I feel unattractive and care if a guy doesn’t see my worth or no guy tries to talk to me when I have the king of the universe pursuing me daily?

I’m not saying to not care about your appearance. Look your best, you’re Christ representers on this earth.  Just don’t find your worth in what you look like or even more on what you don’t look like.Let the word of God be your mirror.

Well, I’m not writing this like a happy ending blog, like I’ve just got it all figured out. Like I’ll never feel unattractive again and compare my body to the more voluptuous and curvy young women my age. But I wrote this as  a reminder  to myself for the next time I fall into the lies of the enemy of not feeling beautiful and to share with you who’s reading this blog at the moment.

So always remember that you are precious to God and that theres nothing about your appearance that was a mistake. He himself (GOD) knit you together in your mothers womb , so your nose was on purpose, your hair was on purpose, your body type was on purpose, your height was on purpose. So lets try to be a generation who doesn’t find their value on the amount of social media likes they get,on the amount of guys or girls that try to talk to them and not on societies standards but on the word of God.

Keep the faith,

Giselle Parris

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