I don’t want to live by faith !

I’ve always admired people who live by faith. I’ve been inspired multiple times reading testimonies of people whom God told them to leave their job and move to another country or state. Or stories of people who took all of their savings and started businesses out of faith from an idea that God deposited in them. Or stories of people who’ve started organizations/ministries and trusted in God to multiply, provide financially and bring in numbers.

Although these kind of stories have always ministered to me , I’ve thought to myself multiple times “ I definitely don’t want to live by faith . “ (Don’t judge me )

I want to know what’s next. I want to know how I’m going to eat. I want to know how I’ll pay my bills.

Well , a couple of weeks ago as I was thinking about where I am in life, I thought to myself ,”Well, it looks like I’m living by faith. “ *insert upside smile emoji *

Truth is that since the end of 2016 I’ve been applying to grad school programs. I’ve received more than 10 rejection letters over this time span.

I thought that by now June 2018 I would either be in school or know what school I would be going to. That at this time of year I would be getting ready to start school in the fall. I thought that by now I would know what my career was for the future. I thought that by now I could finally tell family members that I was on to get a masters degree and they would be proud of me. I thought that by now instead of writing a blog about this , I would be writing a blog about my testimony about getting into school.

But that’s not the case.

And truthfully some days it sucks. There are days where someone asks me if I’ve heard back from school and I instantly start crying (like yesterday). And there’s other days where I’m just fine (like today).

 

But through my tears, doubts and uncertainty God is faithful. Even though some days it doesn’t feel like or look like it God is still working on my behalf. He’s creating and preparing and opportunity just for me that will be worth the wait. It could be In the field I want or something completely different but God is certainly not in the business of disappointing people.

If it’s not good he’s not done yet !

Maybe one day I’ll write a testimony about how I got into grad school , or about how God called me to be a missionary in Central America (hopefully not lol ) , or about how I started a business. Who knows ?

But until then I’ll continue to trust God with the unknown and believe that he won’t put me to shame.

I wrote all of this to say that you were actually created to live by faith. It’s not an option !
We all have faith in something. Some people have all their faith in money ,the government or in other people. But , I encourage to place all your faith in God.

“Some trust in chariots and some in horses,but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.They are brought to their knees and fall, but we rise up and stand firm. “ Psalm 20:7-8

I say this because you were indeed created to have a relationship with God, to depend on him and to be led by his spirit.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding ;in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.” Proverbs 3:5-6

So , I encourage you to cast all your cares, fears, and doubts at the feet of Jesus and leave them there.

“Come to me all who are weary and heavy burdened and I will give you rest.” Mathew 11:28-30

 

Trust that he has great things planned for you. Trust that if your plans don’t work out he has something even better. He won’t let you down.

 

Let God get the glory out of your life ,

Giselle A. Parris