Why me ?

Why me ? Why did this have to happen to me ? What did I do to deserve this ? This wasn’t suppose to happen again …

If you’ve ever asked yourself those questions , then you are not alone.

Those questions usually come accompanied with feeling like your life is a mess , not wanting to get out of bed and /or wanting for life to be over ?

Yea been there many times and for longer than I would like to admit …

Well , I vividly remember a pastor somewhere once saying , ” Don’t be fooled, discouragement is not from God !!! “. *black preacher voice* Which is like a slap in the face to me because it reminds me that I shouldn’t feel depressed for long periods of time  because it’s from the enemy . Yeah , conviction is not fun sometimes .. Well all the time >.<

But , if it was only as easy as that … If it was only as easy as , I’m going to wake up tomorrow and the issue
will be gone !! *poof*
I’m going to get out of bed right now and never feel sad about this again *poof*

Yea , we can go out and distract ourselves , hang out with our friends , and do this and the other in order to be distracted from the situation .. But at the end of the day when you are by yourself it’ll still be there. *sigh*

I mean everyone deals with things differently and I tend to deal with issues in a not so great particular way.

I once saw a post on Instagram and it said something like , “It’s okay to have a meltdown just don’t unpack and live there “. That quote has really helped me through certain things in life.

I have to remember that I’m a human and I have emotions . I will have ups and I will have downs , that’s  just part of life and part of living in this world. There’s nothing wrong with being “in your feelings” as they say ..
Actually it’s worse if you ignore it and keep it all in.
Just express how you feel , your HONEST feelings, concerns , fears , doubts , insecurities.. But at the end of the day know that your help/healing /deliverance comes from the Lord. There’s nothing our friends can do or say to make it go away it’s really in God’s hand.
So journal about how you feel (use your whole journal if you need to ) , speak about it to your friends (only ones whom you can trust and are not going to judge you ) and most importantly speak to your loving father in heaven .
(SN: I know it’s frustrating to do that at times and it can seem pointless because he’s not going to come down from heaven and audibly speak. But we have to trust that He listens when we speak and know that he speaks through many ways just pay attention and have an open heart and mind )

God created us for relationship with him so he loves when we speak to him !! And please be HONEST with him it is so important because he already knows everything ! Duh !

So if your feeling jealous of a friend don’t be scared to say ,”God , I’m jealous of my friend they just seem so perfect or everything just goes great for them. Take those feelings away because they are not of you and help me to celebrate my friend and whom you’ve created them to be”.
Or If you fear God will never bring you your Adam or your proverbs 31 , ” God I’m afraid that I’ll be lonely my whole life. I pray that you have someone special for me and that you prepare me to be the person that you need me to be so I can serve my future spouse .”

So yea , be transparent with God. It makes a whole lot of a difference , he made you , so he knows you better than you may even know yourself.
“And we are confident that he hears us whenever we ask for anything that pleases him. And since we know he hears us when we make our requests , we also know that we will give us what we ask for.” 1 John 5:14-15.

Well yea , I guess everything in life won’t make sense. It may feel like you’ll never stop crying or that you’ll never go a day with out thinking about that situation. Or like you’ll never allow yourself to be vulnerable in case you get hurt again. Or like you’ll never try something new because you “failed” so terribly this time. Or like you just suck as a person overall due to all your mistakes …

But let me just say God is in control and he is still sitting on the throne ! He has a perfect plan for each and everyone of us. “For I know the plans I have for you says the Lord plans to prosper you and give you a future and a hope” Jeremiah 29:11.
Yea he has a plan despite all your mistakes ,imperfections, your crazy mouth ,clumsiness . Crazy right ? Like the creator of the heavens and the earth cares and loves someone so Imperfect like me ? Woah.

Well sometimes we have to go through bumps and bumps and bumps and bumps and not so fun processes but it’s all for a purpose. Maybe you struggle through school because if you didn’t you would take all the glory for yourself.
Maybe you lost a job because God wants you to rely more on him. Maybe you got your heart broken because God sees the beginning from the end and he was saving you from a bigger heartache if it ever went further ?
Through these trials he’s making us more like him and molding us to have his heart and his characteristics. “I have refined you but not as silver is refined. Rather , I have refined you in the furnace of suffering” Isaiah 48:10.

I guess all we can say is ” amen ” … Amen is more than a way we end a prayer , the definition is ” it is so , so be it and I’m in agreement with you “.

It’s often hard very very hard to keep going when your sad or discouraged , better days are coming and one day this will just be a bad memory. And you’ll be like , ” I remember when that happened and I thought my life was over and look at me now !” Lol. And you’ll also be able to help someone else through what you went through.
“He who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us.”  2 Corinthians 1:4

So yea , don’t be so hard on yourself even if your having a bad day or two days or 3 months lol. Life happens but always remember to take your sadness to our loving father. Knowing what to do and not doing it is sin , so take your discouragement to Jesus. We can’t let our flesh control us because Jesus died for us. Sin no longer has power over us !!
“And because you belong to him , the power of the life giving spirit has freed you from the power of sin that leads to death” Romans 8:2 (actually read all of Romans 8 . One of my favorite chapters of the bible gets me back into the right mindset every time )

For example I’ve not been the happiest full of joy person for a while now . ((Which is crazy because in the month of June I posted about Joy , Gots to love those tests from life 😀 ))
It was to the point where I started to believe the enemy’s lies . Lies of , ” I don’t hear God’s voice “. To the point where today as I am writing this I even considered taking all my blogs down and deleting the link from my Instagram… I even started believing that I’m not a good person and don’t deserve my nice group of friends.

So don’t let this happen to you. Read your word and renew your mind daily it’s so important .

But in conclusion I pray you got at least one thing out of this blog . And I am by no means perfect this was actually like a letter to myself . So I might say this today ,and tomorrow be discouraged again then next day be okay again , but posting this makes me more accountable to my life .

Thanks for reading.

Other scriptures to read are James 4:8 , 1 Peter1: 6-9 , Galatians 5:19-23,psalms 30:5.

God loves you like crazy ,
Giselle Parris